its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Randomize
