your room smells of hookers.
And success
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
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