just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
