im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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