I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
