Her vagina should come with caution tape.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
