I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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