Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
