I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize
