My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
