who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
