he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
