2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
