super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
