In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
