my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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