Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
