I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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