its not stalking. its research.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
