Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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