i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
