they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
that is very illegal...i love you.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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