you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
