Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
