I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
