i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
