don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Holy sore nipples Batman
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
