I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
