I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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