i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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