its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
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