sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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