I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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