She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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