Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
