are you still at the devil's house?
True but thats because hes a fetus.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
