I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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