im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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