was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
