the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
