sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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