Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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