im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
