So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
