8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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