small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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