I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Randomize
