doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
