May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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