We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
