i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
